I wrote a letter to the Editor of the Defiance Crescent News recently. You can read the letter here. (nwohionews.org is a website I have just started to develop).

I received a personal letter about my Letter to the Editor today from a man I will call  Mr K.

He wrote:

Dear Mr. Gerencser,

As a Christian, I am saddened to hear you praising the attributes of secularism, because you are missing the real meaning of life.

You indicate that the number of unbelievers has almost doubled in the past 18 years. This would indicate that at the founding of the nation the percentage of Christians was much higher than it is now. Therefore isn’t it reasonable to believe that our nation was established as a Christian nation? Most of our historical documents will verify that.

But I am writing because I can’t imagine living without my Christian faith and I would wish for you the Christian experience. I know that God loves me so much that He sent his Son, Jesus to endure the guilt and punishment of all my sins, therefore I have peace, since Jesus has gone to prepare a place for me and all believers in heaven.

I am writing because I want you to share all these blessings. I challenge you to attend a Christian church, to read the holy Bible to see what Christianity is all about. It is certainly worth the effort because eternity is at stake.

Yours truly,

Mr. K.

I responded to his letter:

Dear Mr. K,

I received your June 30^th, 2009 letter today. Thank you for writing.

You write your letter to me as if I am a naïve, unknowing person. You assume that I have little or no experience with the Christian faith. I suspect your reasoning is that no one who has truly ever experienced Christianity would ever want to give it up. According to your letter it is Jesus that makes your life worth living. He has forgiven you of your sins and he is right now preparing a home in heaven for you.

Actually, I am not naïve about the Christian faith. I was raised in the Evangelical Church. I was trained in an Evangelical Bible College and pastored Evangelical Churches for more than 25 years. I have pastored Churches in Ohio, Michigan, and Texas. Since 2004, I have visited over 125 different Churches, from Catholic to Baptist, and everything in between. Naïve and ignorant I am not.

I have studied the Bible and theology my entire adult life. I have read through the Bible dozens of times, having preached through a good bit of the New Testament. It would be fair to say that I know a good bit about the Bible, Christianity, and religion in general.

In your letter you take my assertion that secularism is increasing as proof that at one time the United States was a Christian nation and was even founded as a Christian nation. You take a current statistical fact and project it back over 250 years of US history in your attempt to prove our nation’s founders were Christians.

I will grant to you the United States has been greatly, for good or ill, influenced by Christianity. It is not though, historically accurate to suggest that the Christianity of 18^th century United States is the same as the Evangelical Christianity practiced today. Many of our founding fathers were Christians in name only, rarely attending public worship. More often than not they were deist or Unitarian in their beliefs. Such beliefs today would be roundly considered as heresy by most Evangelicals.

At best, the United States is a pluralistic, secular country, influenced by a generic form of Christianity. What is different today is that our culture and government is being influenced by a dangerous form of Christian fundamentalism that has as its end goal a Christian nation governed by the laws of the Christian Bible.

I oppose any and all attempts to wed state and Church. I want you to be free to worship God as you see fit and I want to be free to not worship God. Currently, it is social and political suicide to take on the atheist or agnostic moniker, especially here in NW Ohio. I know of businessmen who are agnostics who cannot publically say so for fear of losing their business.

I plan to use what days I have left in this life to be a voice for the non-religious, a voice for those who want full citizenship in the United States without having to pass a test affirming their fidelity to Christianity. There are many people who “believe” but have real problems with the current unholy alliance of Church and State in the U.S. They believe religion is a private matter and that religion should never come into play when it comes to matters of government and public welfare. I want to be a voice for them too.

Once again, thank you for writing. I always appreciate hearing from those who read my letters, even if I completely disagree with their view point. I commend you for being polite and kind. Most letters I receive from Christians are hateful and mean-spirited.

Sincerely,

Bruce Gerencser

I appreciate the civility of Mr. K’s letter. He is a rare bird in the flock of Christians in this area. (at least of those who pick of pen and paper and write me or write a letter to the Editor in response to my letter)

Christianity is about Jesus.

Protestant Christianity is about the Bible.

Herein lies the conundrum. The only way we know “about” Jesus” is through the Bible, yet it is that same Bible that has corrupted Protestant Christianity.

Protestant Christianity is founded upon the doctrine of sola Scriptura or Scripture alone. Virtually every Protestant denomination believes that the Bible is the rule for faith and practice and that it is the final authority in all matters of faith. Some Protestant Christians believe that not only is the Bible the final authority in all matters of faith, it is also the final authority in all matters pertaining to life. Some even believe it is the final authority in matter of history and science.

Can we know Jesus apart from the Bible? Of course not. We only know Jesus by and through what was written about him. The historical evidence for Jesus outside of the Bible is slim to none. Without the Bible there is no Jesus.

Within the the New Testament there seems to be two Christianities taught, the one of Jesus and the other of the Apostle Paul. I find it quite impossible to reconcile the Christianity of the Gospels with the Christianity of Paul’s writings.

I am well aware of the many attempts to harmonize the Scriptures, but I have found such attempts to be lacking in integrity and honesty. Most often such attempts are nothing more than a well intentioned person, aware of the discrepancies in the Bible, trying to bolster their own faith or the faith of others.

The Protestant Christian Church  doctrine of Scripture alone yields several other teachings about the Scripture.

Inerrancy-The Bible is without error

Infallible-The Bible is without fallibility

Inspiration-God breathed out, gave the Scripture

Each of the above teachings have numerous variations and Protestants spend a great deal of time arguing with one another about whose position is right.

Take inerrancy. The Bible is without error? Unless one is a believer in translational inerrancy no one believes that a translation is without error. Surprisingly, millions of Protestant Christians believe that every word of the translation they use is without error. Preachers stand up and proclaim on Sunday “thus saith the Lord” . Are they not saying to their parishioners that every word of the Scripture is true?

I realize one could argue that there is a difference between truth and the belief that the Bible is without error. We can have truth without inerrancy. But can we have DIVINE truth without inerrancy? If the Bible is God speaking to man must the words not only be true but without error? Did God stutter when he divinely uttered the Scriptures?

Many denominations, while admitting that translations have errors, attempt to bolster their inerrancy position by teaching that the Scriptures are inerrant in the originals. In other words, what the original writers of the Bible wrote down for the first time……….those writings are inerrant.

Written in Hebrew and Greek, these original manuscripts are said to be without error.

But, you’ll have to take their word for it. Why? The original manuscripts do not exist. There is not one original manuscript in existence today. While there are thousands of manuscripts  in existence today, all of them are copies of copies of copies. There are NO originals.

All we have today is errant manuscripts. While they can be compared and , to a certain degree, a faithful text collated from them, they are not inerrant.

Protestant Christians should stop their incessant prattle about inerrancy. They know, and everyone with a bit of theological education knows,  that there is no such thing as an inerrant Bible.

The same goes for the teaching of infallibility. If the Bible is not inerrant then how can it be infallible? Even in matters of faith, when Scripture is compared to Scripture, there are contradictions and errors. Paul and Jesus, Peter and Paul, etc often seem to posit opposing views. Which infallible view are we supposed to accept as the truth?

Even the doctrine of inspiration can not be sustained. If the Bible is God’s word to man how is it his words have become so jumbled up and seem to cause confusion? The existence of thousands of Christian sects give proof to the fact that the Bible is a confusing, contradictory book.

I am sure someone is going to cry foul and say “when it comes to salvation the Bible is clear!!!”

Really?

Think of how many different “plans” of salvation  are taught within the Protestant Church. Faith alone. Faith plus works. Faith plus baptism. Faith plus persevering to the end. Faith that you can lose. Faith that you can not lose. Faith plus the baptism of the spirit. Faith plus belonging to a particular sect. Faith plus believing certain doctrines. Shall I go on?

So, in reality there are numerous plans of salvation, numerous paths to heaven, numerous ways to have peace with God. For salvation being so simple, it seems that the Protestant Church has made it quite complex. Perhaps the reason for this is  the Bible itself, and the expectation the Church has for the Bible.

What then is the Bible? If it is not inerrant, infallible or inspired, then what is it?

The Bible is a spiritual book written by fallible men. Many of the books of the Bible that carry the names of a particular writer were most likely written by someone else. (read Bart Ehrman) No matter.

The Bible is a fascinating spiritual book filled with wisdom and moral and ethical truth. It is also a spiritual book filled with error, contradiction, and distortion.

When I came to realize the Bible was NOT God’s inerrant, infallible, inspired Word, the foundation that I had built my house on began to crumble. Everything I believed to be truth was now open to investigation.

My investigation led to agnosticism. I am not an atheist. I believe there is a God, but I do not believe that God is best explained by the Protestant Christian Scriptures. Helpful? Yes! As the answer to all things God? No!

I believe  historically there was a man named Jesus. Just because I reject the divine nature of the Scripture does not mean that I can not not accept the history of Scripture. (especially when compared to history as a whole)

I have little doubt that Jesus walked the face of earth.. I have little doubt that he was a great man. I marvel at his story.

I have grave doubts over many of the teaching, doctrines, and ideologies attached to the historical Jesus. I am firmly convinced that 2000 years of human tampering has turned Jesus into someone he himself would not recognize if he walked among us today.

I still believe Christianity could be a force for moral and ethical good in the world. But,  I doubt this will happen because organized religion has a power and economic stake in keeping things as they are.

I have rejected organized religion, in particular organized Christianity. It remains to be seen if I will reject Jesus.

Of course, the power brokers of organized Christianity would have you believe that because I reject them and their inerrant book that I have, in effect, rejected Jesus.  To them I am lost, doomed for hell. I am a seven fold child of hell. I am a dog that has returned to its vomit.

Believe what they will………..

I am sure by now many readers of Bruce Droppings are trying to figure out what is going on with the blog and with me personally.

I have decided that I want Bruce Droppings to be a forward moving blog. So much of my past writing focused on the…….past. Where I had been. What I had done. Lots of grief, remorse, tears in the beer writing.

From a mental standpoint I suspect my previous writing has been great therapy. Certainly cheaper than a therapist.

But, I have realized that if I do not move past the past I have no hope of having a future. Life is short and it is vitally important that I get to living it.

So I am changing the focus of Bruce Droppings.

First, I intend to write solely on religious matters. While I am certain I will lapse into the past from time to time I hope to keep my writing forward looking. To the degree that the past informs the present I will write about it, but I don’t plan to dwell on the past as I have previously.

Second, I have received scores of requests from people asking me to write about how I came to the place of abandoning organized religion and embracing agnosticism. I intend to spend a good bit of time writing about this in the months ahead.

Several things have brought me to this place.

First, I have changed and I continue to change each and every day. Yet, so much of my writing about the past leaves everyone but me fixed in the past. I made no allowance for the fact that if I have changed it is possible that others have too. I don’t want to paint the people, places, and institutions that have touched my life as unchanging. Some of them have changed, most often for the good.

It is not fair for me to paint everyone in my past as intolerant Fundamentalists and that I , only I, have changed. I don’t want to sound like Elijah in the Bible who told God he was the only true prophet that remained. God had to remind Elijah that there were 7,000 prophets that had not bowed a knee to Baal.

Second, I was reading the recent issue of Progressive magazine and I came upon an interview of Robert Redford.

The interviewer asked Redford about starting the Sundance Film Festival.

Redford said (at age 40):

Stop and say:

Ok, I am going to take some time off and rethink and pretend that I’m just starting out again and look at things freshly for the first time.

This one sentence really got my attention.

I asked myself:

• What are the things that matter to me?
• Who are the people that matter to me?
• Knowing what I know now, what would I do differently if I was starting over?

I am 52 years old. I am in poor health. I have a past. I am going to die someday.  Four inescapable facts.

Based on these facts how do I want to live the rest of my life? What do I want to focus on? Where do I want to invest what energy I have? Where, and how, can my talents best be used?

It is with these questions in mind that I am refocusing my writing and I hope that you will continue to find my writing engaging, helpful, and encouraging.

Your comments and emails are always welcome.

You got my letter.

I am certain that my letter troubled you and caused you to wonder what in the world was going on with Bruce.

You have been my friend since 1983. When I met you for the first time I was a young man pastoring a new Church in Somerset, Ohio. I remember you and your dear wife vividly because you put a 100.00 bill in the offering plate. Up to that point we had never seen a 100.00 bill in the offering plate.

And so our friendship began. You helped us buy our first Church bus. You helped us buy our Church building. In later years you gave my wife and I a generous gift to buy a mobile home. It was old, but we were grateful to have our own place to live in. You were a good friend.

Yet, our common bond was the Christianity we both held dear. I doubt you would have done any of the above for the local Methodist minister, whom we both thought was an apostate.
I baptized you and was privileged to be your pastor on and off over my 11 years in Somerset. You left several times because our doctrinal beliefs conflicted, you being an Arminian and I being a Calvinist.

One day you came to place where you believed God was leading you to abandon your life work, farming, and enter the ministry. I was thrilled for you. I also said to myself, “now _____________can really  see what the ministry is all about!”

So you entered the ministry and you are now a pastor of a thriving fundamentalist Church. I am quite glad you found your place in life and are endeavoring to do what you believe is right. Of course, I would think the same of you if you were still farming.

You have often told me that much of what you know about the ministry I taught you. I suppose, to some degree or another, I must take credit for what you have become. (whether I view it as good or bad)

Yesterday you got into your Lincoln and drove three plus hours to see me. I wish you had called first. I had made up my mind to make up some excuse why I couldn’t see you, but since you came unannounced I had  no other option but to open and the door and warmly welcome you. Just like always…..

I have never wanted to hurt you or cause you to lose your faith. I would rather you not know the truth about me than to hurt you in anyway.

But your visit forced the issue. I had no choice.

Why did you come to my home? I know you came as my friend but it seemed by the time our three hour discussion ended our friendship had died and I was someone you needed to pray for, that I might be saved. After all, in your Arminian theology there can be no question that, a person with beliefs such as mine, has fallen from grace.

Do you know what troubled me the most? You didn’t shake my hand as you left. For 26 years we have shook hands as we came and went. The significance of this is overwhelming. You can no longer give me the right hand of fellowship because we no longer have a common Christian faith.

Over the course of three hours you constantly reminded me of the what I used to preach, what I used to believe. I must tell you forthrightly that, that  Bruce is dead. He no longer exists, but in the memory of a distant past.
Whatever good may have been done I am grateful, but I bear the scars and memories of much evil done in the name of Jesus. Whatever my intentions, I must bear responsibility for what I did through my preaching, ministry style, etc.

You seem to think that if I just got back in the ministry everything would be fine. Evidently, I can not make you understand that the ministry is the problem. Even if I had any desire to re-enter the ministry, where would I go? What sect would take someone with such beliefs as mine?

I ask you to come to terms with the fact that I will never be a pastor again. Does not the Bible teach that if a man desires the office of a bishop (pastor) he desires a good work? I have no desire for such an office. Whatever desire I had died in the rubble of my 25 plus year ministry.

We talked about many things didn’t we? But I wonder if you really heard me?

I told you my view on abortion, Barack Obama, the Bible, and the exclusivity of salvation in Jesus Christ.

You told me that a Christian couldn’t hold such views. According to your worldview that is indeed true. I have stopped using the Christian label. I am content to be a seeker of truth, a man on a quest for answers. I now know I never will have all the answers. I am now content to live in the shadows of ambiguity and the unknown.

What I do know tells me life does not begin at conception, that Barack Obama is a far better President than George Bush , that the Bible is not inerrant or inspired, and that Jesus is not the only way to Heaven. (if there is a Heaven at all)

This does not mean that I deny the historicity of Jesus or that I believe there is no God. I am an agnostic. While I reject the God of my past it remains uncertain that I will reject God altogether. Perhaps……..

In recent years you have told me that my incessant reading of books is the foundation of the problems I now face. Yes, I read a lot. Reading is a joy I revel in.  I read quickly and I usually comprehend things quite easily. (though I am finding Science to be a much bigger challenge) Far from being the cause of my demise, books have opened up a world to me that I never knew existed.

Reading has allowed me to see life in all its shades and complexities. I can no more stop reading than I can stop eating. The passion for knowledge and truth remain strong in my being. In fact it is stronger now than it ever was in my days at Somerset Baptist Church.

I was also troubled by your suggestion that I not share my beliefs with anyone. You told me my beliefs could cause others to lose their faith! Is the Christian faith so tenuous that one man can cause others to lose their faith. Surely, the Holy Spirit is far more powerful than Bruce. (even if I am Bruce Almighty)

I am aware of the fact that my apostasy has troubled some people. If Bruce can walk away from the faith……….how can any of us stand? I have no answer for this line of thinking. I am but one man……….shall I live in denial of what I believe? Shall I say nothing when I am asked of the hope that lies within me? Christians are implored to share their faith at all times. Are agnostics and atheists not allowed to have the same freedom?

I suspect the time has come that we part as friends. The glue that held us together is gone. We no longer have a common foundation for a mutual relationship. I can accept you as you are,  but I know you can’t do the same for me. I MUST be reclaimed. I must be prayed for. The bloodhound of heaven must be unleashed on my soul.

Knowing all this, it is better for us to part company.  I have many fond memories of the years we spent together. Let’s mutually remember the good times of the past and each continue down the path we have chosen.

Rarer, than a Ivory-billed woodpecker is a friendship that lasts a lifetime. 26 years is a good run.

Thanks for the memories.

Bruce

I have come to a place in life where I can no longer put off writing this letter. I have dreaded this day because I know what is likely to follow after certain people receive it. I have decided I can’t control how others will react to this letter, so it is far more important to clear the air and make sure everyone knows the facts about Bruce Gerencser.

I won’t bore you with a long, drawn out history of my life. I am sure each of you have an opinion about how I have lived my life and the decisions I have made. I also have an opinion about how I have lived my life and and decisions I have made. I am my own worst critic.

Religion, in particular Baptist Evangelical and Fundamentalist religion, has been the essence of my life, from my youth up. My being is so intertwined with religion that the two are quite inseparable. My life has been shaped and molded by religion and religion touches virtually ever fiber of my being.

I have spent most of my adult life pastoring Churches, preaching, and being involved in religious work to some degree or another. I have pastored thousands of people over the years, preached thousands of sermons, and participated in, and led, thousands of worship services.

To say that the Church was my life would be an understatement.  As I have come to see, the Church was actually my mistress and my adulterous affair with her was at the expense of my wife, children and my own self-worth.

Today, I am publicly  announcing that the affair is over. My wife and children have known for a long time that the affair was over but now everyone will know.

The Church robbed me of so much of my life and I have no intention of allowing her to have one more moment of my time. Life is too short. I am dying. We all are. I don’t want to waste what is left of my life chasing after things I now see to be vain and empty.

I have always been known as a reader, a student of the Bible. I have read thousands of books in my lifetime and the knowledge gained from my reading and studies have led me to some conclusions about religion, particularly the Fundamentalist, Evangelical religion that played such a prominent part in my life.

I can no longer wholeheartedly embrace the doctrines of the Evangelical, Fundamentalist faith. I do not believe in the inerrancy of Scripture nor do I accept as fact the common Evangelical belief of the inspiration of Scripture.

Coming to this conclusion has forced me to reevaluate many of the doctrines I have held as true over these many years. I have concluded that I have been misinformed, poorly taught, and sometimes lied to. I can no longer accept as true many of the doctrines  I once believed.
I point the finger of blame at no one. I sincerely believed and taught the things that I did and many of the men who taught me were honorable teachers. I don’t blame those who have influenced me over the year, nor do  I blame the authors of the many books I have read. Simply, it is what it is.

I have no time to invest in the blame game. I am where I am today for any number of reasons and I must embrace where I am and move forward.

In moving forward I have stopped attending Church. I have not attended a Church service since November of 2008. I have no interest of desire in attending any Church on a regular basis. This does not mean I will never attend a Church service again, but it does mean, for NOW, I have no intention of attending Church services.

I pastored for the last time in 2003. Almost six years have passed by. I have no intentions of ever pastoring again. When people ask me about this I tell them I am retired. With the health problems that I have it is quite easy to make an excuse for not pastoring, but the fact is I don’t want to pastor.

People continue to ask me “what do you believe?” Rather than inquiring about how my life is, the quality of that life, etc, they reduce my life to what I believe. Life becomes nothing more than a set of religious constructs. A good life becomes believing the right things.
I can tell you this…….I believe God is…  and that is the sum of my confession of faith.

A precursor to my religious views changing was a seismic shift in my political views. My political views were so entangled with Fundamentalist beliefs that when my political views began to shift, my Fundamentalist beliefs began to unravel.

I can better describe my political and social views than I can my religious ones. I am a committed progressive, liberal Democrat, with the emphasis being on the progressive and liberal. My evolving views on women, abortion, homosexuality, war, socialism, social justice, and the environment have led me to the progressive, liberal viewpoint.

I know some of you are sure to ask, what does your wife think of all of this? Quite surprisingly, she is in agreement with me on many of these things. Not all of them, but close enough that I can still see her standing here. Polly is no theologian, She is not trained in theology as I am. She loves to read fiction. I was able to get her to read Bart Ehrman’s book Misquoting Jesus and she found the book to be quite an eye opener.

Polly is free to be whom and whatever she wishes. If she wanted to start attending the local Fundamentalist Baptist Church she is free to do so and even has my blessing. For now, she doesn’t.  She may never believe like I believe, but in my new way of thinking that is OK. I really don’t care what others think. Are you happy? Are you at peace? Are you living a good, productive life? Do you enjoy life? Yes, to these questions is good enough for me.

I have six children, three who are out on their own. For many years I was the spiritual patriarch of the family. Everyone looked to me for the answers. I feel somewhat burdened over my children. I feel like I have left them out on their own with no protection. But, I know they have good minds and can think and reason for themselves. Whatever they decide about God, religion, politics, or American League baseball is fine with me.

All I ask of my wife and children is that they allow me the freedom to be myself, that they allow me to journey on in peace and love. Of course, I still love a rousing discussion about religion, the Bible, politics, etc. I want my family to know that they can talk to me about these things, and anything else for that matter, any time they wish.

Opinions are welcome. Debate is good. All done? Let’s go to the Tavern and have a round on me. Life is about the journey and I want my wife and children to be a part of my journey and I want to be a part of theirs.

One of the reasons for writing this letter is to put an end to the rumors and gossip about me. Did you know Bruce is/or is not_____________? Did you know Bruce believes____________? Did you know Bruce is a universalist, agnostic, atheist, liberal ___________?

For you who have been friends or former parishioners I apologize to you if my change has unsettled you, or has caused you to question your own faith. That was never my intent.

The question is, what now?

Family and friends are not sure what to do with me.

I am still Bruce. I am still married. I am still your father, father in-law, grandfather, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin, and son-in-law.  I would expect you to love me as I am and treat me with respect.

Here is what I don’t want from you:

• Attempts to show me the error of my way. Fact is I have studied the Bible and read far more books than many of you. What do you really think you are going to show me that will be so powerful and unknown that it will cause me to return to the religion and politics of my past?
• Constant reminders that you are praying for me. Please don’t think of me as unkind, but I don’t care that you are praying for me. I find no comfort, solace or strength from your prayers. Be my friend if you can, pray if you must, but leave the prayers in the closet. As long as God gets your prayer message that will be sufficient.
• Please don’t send me books, tracts, or magazines. You are wasting your time and money.
• Invitations to attend your Church. The answer is NO. Please don’t ask. I used to attend Church for the sake of family but no longer. It is hypocritical for me to perform a religious act of worship just for the sake of family. I know how to find a Church if I am so inclined, after all I have visited 125+ Churches since 2003.
• Offers of a Church to pastor. It is not the lack of a Church to pastor that has led me to where I am. If I would lie about what I believe I could be pastoring again in a matter of weeks. I am not interested in ever pastoring a Church again.
• Threats about judgment and hell. I don’t believe in either, so your threats have no impact on me .
• Phone calls. If you are my friend you know I don’t like talking on the phone. I have no interest in having a phone discussion about my religious or political views.

Here is what I do want from you:

• I want you to unconditionally love me where I am and how I am.

That’s it.

Now I realize some (many) of you won’t be able to do that. My friendship, my familial relationship with you is cemented with the cement of Evangelical orthodoxy. Remove the Bible, God, and fidelity to a certain set of beliefs and there is no basis for a continued relationship.

I understand that, I want you to know I have appreciated and enjoyed our friendship over the years. I understand that you can not be my friend any more. I even understand you may have to publicly denounce me and warn others to stay away from me for fear of me contaminating others with my heresy. Do what you must. We had some wonderful times together and I will always remember those good times.

You are free from me if that is your wish.

I shall continue to journey on. I can’t stop. I must not stop.

Thank you for reading my letter.

Bruce