From the Restless Wanderings spam folder:
My pet parrot has more insight about this topic than you. Find a different subject to talk about cos you don’t know a huge amount about this one.
I am sure many people agree.
On February 26, 2010, In Humor, By Bruce
On February 25, 2010, In Life, By Bruce
When He battled liberal Churches and Preachers they loved Him.
When He battled Democrats they loved Him.
And then He became too liberal for them.
When He battled Fundamentalism they loved him.
When He battled those who preached cheap grace they loved Him.
And then He became too liberal for them.
When He battled the institutional Church they loved Him.
When He battled the mega-churches and TV preachers they loved Him.
And then He became too liberal for them.
One day He realized that He had spent His life battling.
and to what end?
No one stood by Him.
The great battler stood alone.
Along the way He had changed.
And when He changed they walked away.
He learned a hard lesson.
They never really did love Him.
They loved His smart writing.
They loved His stand for truth.
They loved His personality.
They loved everything about Him except what mattered.
When He needed them the most they were nowhere to be found.
He made them uncomfortable.
He had changed.
He wasn’t what or who He used to be.
What happened to Him , they asked?
Perhaps the real question is, what happened to them?
He often feels like a one night stand.
Used.
He still fights the battle.
But now the battle is within.
He battles the demons of the past,
He battles the reality of the present.
And He battles fear of tomorrow.
He is forced to forge new relationships.
Why does He feel the closest to people He has never met?
He used to laugh at the very notion of internet friends…
Yet where would He be without them?
They read what He writes and offer their opinion.
They agree, They disagree but they let Him be who He is.
They ask no fidelity and require no obedience.
What’s a battling old preacher to do?
The fires still burns.
Passion still stirs in his being.
But the old battles provide no fight.
So He looks for another battle to fight.
Maybe He will fight for those scarred and damaged by the gods.
Maybe He will fight for those who can not, or fearfully will not, fight for themselves.
Maybe He will fight for those whose lives have been ruined by people of the Way.
Maybe He will fight for a better world for his children, for Levi, Victoria, and Karah.
There are still battles to fight.
Choose who and what you will fight for.
And forget those who only loved you for the battles you fought.
On February 25, 2010, In Religion, By Bruce
Since I write openly, and I hope honestly, I know I open myself up to investigation, judgment, and psychoanalysis. People routinely, via the comment section and private email, take it upon themselves to tell me what my problem is. Most often they are Christians, though I have had a few atheists try and straighten me out.
But for the most part atheists leave me alone . Some atheists consider agnosticism to be atheism for cowards. They evangelize for the atheist position and try to nudge me over the edge. I don’t nudge easily. I am a pretty big boy. 
Some Christians feel it is their sworn duty to “help” me see what my problem is. They assume there is even a problem to start with. They assume they know where I am and they are certain they can get me to see the error of my way.
One of the most common issues raised by Bruce fixing Christians is my fundamentalist past. They assume that I was always a fundamentalist. They assume I was always an Independent, Fundamentalist Baptist. Because of this assumption they assert that the problem is my brand of Christianity rather than Christianity itself.
They seem to ignore that I have not been a Fundamentalist since around 1998. I spent the last 5 years of the ministry as a non-fundamentalist pastor. I was considered a liberal by many of my former fundamentalist friends. Granted I was still very conservative religiously and politically, but I definitely was not a Fundamentalist. (though I am certain I still had many Fundamentalist tendencies)
Fundamentalism is a problem for me only to the degree that it has mentally and emotionally hurt me. That’s what counseling is for.
I am no longer a Christian for ONE reason…
I do not believe the Bible to be the words of God. I do not believe the Bible is the inspired word of God. I do not believe it is infallible. I do not believe it is inerrant.
The Bible is the problem.
Once a person comes to the place where they abandon the inspiration of the Bible they are on a slippery slope. The Bible becomes just a book, a valuable book perhaps, but just a book. I still read the Bible every so often. I find value in reading it. However, I do not believe that the Bible is God speaking to me. I don’t believe the Bible is the rule for my life.
There are many things in the Bible that I consider untrue, and in some cases downright evil. I can not reconcile the God of the Old Testament with the God of the New Testament. I find the doctrine of hell to be an abhorrent teaching.
So, my dear Christian readers…get it down. The BIBLE is the problem not my Fundamentalist past.
Even if I remotely ever came back to any form of Christian belief it would be universalism. I suspect I would still be in the same position with many of my Christians readers. In their mind if you are not an Evangelical/Fundamentalist then you are lost. Universalism is despised just as much as atheism is.
As I type this I am watching our Bengal cat go through his daily ritual at the aquarium. Every day he stalks the fish the aquarium. What an exercise in futility.Yet, he just knows that today is the day. He is going to get the fish today.
So I mock him. “Salazar do you have superpowers now. Are you going to use your superpower vision to bore a hole in the aquarium glass?” He just looks at me and goes back to stalking the fish. He is sure he is going to get the fish today.
So it is with some of my Christian readers. You continue to stalk the aquarium but you need to know you are never going to get the fish.
On February 25, 2010, In General, By Bruce
One of the strange things that seems to happen on a regular basis is that someone questions whether I am really who I say I am.
I don’t understand this.
I use my real name.
I use a real profile picture.
Anyone can contact me via the contact page.
I have never hid who I am.
Yet, the myth still persists.
Is Bruce really Bruce?
Yes, Bruce really is Bruce.
I realize most fundamentalist pastors never write honestly and openly about their past. I understand why they don’t. I often have to fight the urge to delete Restless Wanderings and run away.
You can rest assured I am really who I say I am.
If you doubt I am who I say I am….friend me on Facebook. Check out my friends, Quiz my kids.
I really am me.
On February 23, 2010, In Fundy Tales, Religion, By Bruce
The Trinity Baptist Church years. 1970-74
I attended Trinity Baptist Church, Findlay, Ohio at a very crucial and foundational point in my life. It was during my time at Trinity Baptist Church that the core doctrines that would guide for the next 2o plus years were drilled into my head.
I heard preaching three times a week. I went to Sunday School and Youth group meetings. I attended every Bible Conference, Missions Conference, Youth Rally, and Revival the Church had. I went to summer youth camp. I even skipped school so I could attend the Baptist Bible Fellowship preacher’s meeting that was held at the Church.
From listening to preaching I began to develop what I believed. Granted, I was never presented with any alternative views. I was only given one viewpoint. As with most Baptist Churches, the preachers confused their viewpoint with God’s. When the preacher preached you were expected to believe that he spoke for God. He was God’s man.
What did the preacher’s at Trinity Baptist Church teach me?
They taught me the Bible was the inspired, inerrant Word of God. The Bible was originally written by holy men as they were moved by the Holy Spirit. They taught me the dictation theory of inspiration. Every word, every jot, every tittle was without error. The history and the science taught in the Bible were true, perfect in every detail. As a result the preachers taught that the universe was created in six 24 hour days and that the universe was 6, 000 years old.
The Bible that they believed was inspired and inerrant was the King James Bible. They taught me that God had preserved his Word for English speaking people in the King James Bible. Every word, every jot, every tittle of the King James Bible was true.
From the Bible the preachers taught me the basics of the Christian faith. The soteriology taught at Trinity Baptist Church was orthodox and indistinguishable from any other Baptist Church. The essential, cardinal doctrines of the Christian faith were taught and believed.
The preachers also taught me some things that were peculiar to our brand of Christianity.
The Preachers taught me that the Baptist Church was the true Church. The thinking went something like this: John THE Baptist baptized Jesus, which made Jesus a Baptist. The apostles were all called by Jesus so they were Baptists. The first Christian Churches were started by the apostles so they were Baptist Churches. This belief is commonly called the Landmark Baptist or Baptist Bride teaching. This belief was popularized in a little red booklet titled The Trail of Blood.
The preachers taught me that the Rapture of the Church was imminent. Jesus Christ was coming soon, it could happen today. As was typical of Churches in the 1970’s, the preachers spent a good bit of time preaching on the Rapture, the second coming, the premillennial return of Christ, the great white throne judgment, the BEMA seat judgment, etc. Eschatological preaching was the fuel that stoked the furnace of evangelism. Jesus is coming soon. Best be busy winning souls to Jesus.
Up to now the things I was taught by the preachers were innocuous at best. What follows was not so harmless. What follows harmed me greatly, and I deal with the consequences of it to this day. I have spent hours in counseling trying to overcome the damage done to me by the teaching I am about to detail.
The preachers taught me a rules based Christianity. This is commonly called legalism. While the preachers taught salvation by grace, what I understood from their preaching was that to be a real Christian you had to follow the rules. (and virtually all forms of Christianity and religion has some legalistic influences)
The preachers were dispensationalists. They taught we were no longer under the law, we were under grace. Instead of adopting the law of the Bible the preachers made up their own. They would SAY their laws (also called standards) were from the Bible but it seemed every preacher had a different set of rules and laws.
It seemed there was a rule for everything. Dress code. Hair code. Music code. Dating code. Family code. You can check out the rulebook in my post titled The Independent Baptist Rulebook.
The preachers taught me to be judgmental, not only of myself, but of others. Everything was judged according to the rules, the standards of the Church.
I wasn’t allowed to go to dances, square dance in gym class, listen to secular music,have long hair, wear worldly clothing, date non-Baptist girls, or sing secular songs in choir. The world was evil, the flesh was evil. Only in the teachings of the Bible, only in Jesus could a person find meaning, purpose, and direction in life.
To this day the legalism I was taught at Trinity Baptist Church courses through my veins. I hate it yet it still pops up its ugly head from time to time. Hopefully, time will bring healing.
In my next post I intend to write on my time at Midwestern Baptist College. (1976-79)
On February 21, 2010, In Life, By Bruce
|
Year |
Religious Influence |
Political Influence |
| 1957 | Baptized in Episcopal Church | John Birch Society |
| 1963 | Parents Joined Independent Baptist Church | |
| 1972 | Made Public Profession of Faith | |
| 1972 | Called to the Ministry | |
| 1976 | Attended Independent Baptist College | Republican |
| 1979 | Pastored First Independent Baptist Church | |
| 1989 | Adopted Lordship Salvation view | |
| 1990 | Became A Five Point Calvinist | |
| 1991 | Adopted A millennial Eschatology | |
| 1995 | Pastored First Non-Baptist Church | |
| 1998 | Adopted Non-Cessationist View of Spiritual Gifts | |
| 1998 | Stopped Using the King James Bible | |
| 2000 | Embraced Social aspects of the Gospel | Conservative Democrat |
| 2003 | Pastored Last Church, A Southern Baptist Church | |
| 2004 | Through 2007 Attended over 125 Different Churches | |
| 2005 | Abandoned Calvinism | |
| 2006 | Embraced Liberal View of Scripture | Democrat |
| 2008 | Last Attended Church. Stopped calling Myself a Christian | Liberal Democrat |
| 2009 | Embraced Agnosticism | Liberal |
From 1979 through 2003 I pastored/on staff seven Churches.
- Independent Baptist Church (GARBC)
- Independent Baptist Church
- Independent Baptist Church
- Sovereign Grace Baptist Church
- Christian Union Church
- Non-Denominational Independent Church
- Southern Baptist Church
Basically my life was a progression from extreme Fundamentalism to agnosticism, from extreme right-wing politics to liberal politics.
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